Unforgivable
by Krys Yuy
Summary: Ficlet in 614 words. What do Tamaki and Hikaru consider unforgivable? A snippet into Hikaru’s mind after hearing Tamaki’s tragedy. Dark!Hikaru. C60 SPOILERS.


**Unforgivable**  
Author: Krys Yuy  
Summary: Ficlet. What do Tamaki and Hikaru consider unforgivable? A snippet into Hikaru's mind after hearing Tamaki's tragedy.  
Warning: SPOILERS for Ouran Chapter 60. A glimpse into a dark Hikaru.  
Rating: K/G  
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters used. This ficlet is purely for entertainment purposes only.  
Author's Notes: After reading a summary for chapter 60, I just had to write something, even if it's this ficlet. This is just a short reaction piece. Beware the angst and the bittersweet aftertaste, though. And try not to hate me too much for how I portray Hikaru. I love him, I swear! But this had to be written. And the dialogue in italics are my own creations (except for the one by Hikaru from C59), not from the actual manga. I dramatized and speculated on the C60 summary I read. Present tense because I can. Please enjoy and review (it feeds my soul!).

* * *

Despite what he may say and do, Hikaru has always respected Tamaki. There is no doubt in the eldest Hitachiin's mind that if not for the enthusiastic blonde, he and Kaoru would have remained stagnant, stuck in a world that would never expand. Locked forever with no idea of the wonders that lay at their fingertips if only they would reach out and try.

Every day, he sees the idiotic side of Tamaki – the endless spout of harebrained ideas that seem to pour in creative leaps and bounds – but less often, he is offered a peek into the unrealized genius lying behind infinite pools of violet.

And it's no wonder he's terrified when he realizes his 'lord' is a rival for the girl he loves because how can he possibly compete with Tamaki?

The boy with the heart of gold and the power to change the world around him.

There's a little niggling voice at the back of his head, always reminding him of how he can't quite measure up. He's been selfish all his life, never caring how his words affected others, but even if he's trying to change now, Tamaki is a lifetime ahead on good deeds with that ridiculously huge heart of his that just won't stop giving.

Hikaru has always been afraid that he's fighting an uphill battle – that he's not the hero meant for the heroine of this upside-down fairytale. It seems that no matter what he does, how he acts, how hard he tries, Haruhi will never ever see him. Somehow, without even meaning to, Tamaki got there first.

_I don't want you to come!_

Hikaru wants to believe he's no longer childish or selfish, but even he knows his outburst proves he has a long way to go. He needs to apologize; after all, that's what he had planned on doing. But then…

… _unconscious trauma?…_

Hikaru ducks back around the corner, leaning against the wall, eyes wide and hands trembling as bits of the conversation play over and over.

_Tamaki will never be able to acknowledge his feelings of love. If he does, that relationship will forever be tainted._

"Hikaru? Did you find Kaoru?" Footsteps move closer and pause. "Is something wrong?"

He stiffens as Haruhi's concerned voice pierces his thoughts, and he finds that he can't quite look at her.

_It will be doomed to fail the moment he recognizes it. What he's doing now – Tamaki is instinctively protecting his "family". _

His voice is hoarse when he answers and he hopes she doesn't question him again. "Everything's fine. Just a little cold." He gathers his courage and grabs her hand, leading her in the other direction. "Let's see if Kaoru is in the lounge area."

She makes no protest and he relishes in the feeling of her acceptance, imagining a different scenario, and yet he does not glance back, echoes of their friends' concerns still ringing in his ears. There is shame and there is guilt, but he lets neither take control. He pushes it away until he is numb, the warmth of Haruhi's hand his only tether to reality.

_Subconsciously to him, to fall in love means to break a family. And that is, in his eyes…_

He can't bear to face her, for fear she would see right through him and discover the truth. This secret – he will allow himself this last piece of selfishness – could tear her away from him before he even has a chance of calling her his.

She can't know. She can never know the tragedy of their beloved king.

… _unforgivable._

Because in the deepest, darkest corners of his heart, Hikaru is glad.


End file.
